A poor money mindset will hold you back from chasing dreams or achieving financial stability.
No matter how much or how long you have worked on your own finances, having a partner with a poor money mindset will lead to financial stress, an imbalance power struggle, divergent goals, lack of trust and in itselfs limit the quality of life you could possibly have.
Picture this: your partner makes a fairly decent income, they are living it up,branded clothes, eating out, trips with friends.
However their overall financial muscle doesn’t quite reflect that. They are always broke. They are too afraid to start any business or make an investment with the fear of losing and failing.
At the end of the month they cannot account for their money, they haven’t bought anything tangible worth counting and over the years they really have no savings or investments to fall back on.
Or any project or business left in their management seems to fail.
Getting out of a poor money mindset requires recognizing these limiting actions and beliefs and sadly even the affected individual may be unaware of how their limiting perspectives affect them or the relationship.
Here’s a list of 20 signs that your partner could be having a poor money mindset:
1. Impulse Buying
Impulse buying clearly reflects a poor money mindset as it stems from the inability to stick to a budget.
The clear lack of financial discipline can be problematic as it can led to financial strain or debts.
Dealing with a partner who is an impulse buyer should be approached with empathy because truthfully it can be hard to change deeply rooted behaviours but overtime it is workable.
2. Ignoring Financial Responsibilities
Imagine the disappointment of finding out two-three months in, that your partner forgot to pay a bill that they had agreed to take care of.
A person with a poor money mindset will have the financial muscle but still opt out of taking up any financial responsibilities.
This can stem from their over dependence on others to take up financial matters.
Or their lack of accountability which should be handled from the very beginning through an open and honest conversation.
3. They Avoid Conversations Surrounding Finances
Is your partner clearly uninterested in holding conversations around finances?
This is an indication that they either do not want to be held accountable for their finances or they are just uninterested in holding money conversations with you.
Regardless of the reason this is a sign of a poor money mindset, because when you are in a relationship money conversations are paramount for financial growth.
4. Hiding Financial Purchases/Decisions
When a partner lacks control over their expenditure, they tend to hide their financial purchases to avoid conflict.
Nonetheless, the mere act of prioritising personal needs over the relationship goals can cause a strain to the relationship as it’s a form of betrayal..
Needless to say, hiding financial decisions is considered a form of financial infidelity as it erodes the essence of trust and mutual understanding between partners in regards to financial responsibilities and set goals.
5. Taking Unrequited Loans/Debt
You’re probably holding your partner’s phone and an alert pops up, you click on it, “a loan payment reminder”.
Now the painful part is, this is not the first time you’ve caught your partner getting unnecessary unrequited loans, it’s without your consent and you are sure if you dig up you’ll surely find other debts.
It is clear that your partner is having a poor money mindset that they are struggling with and will need help.
6. Avoiding Planning and Budgeting
If any efforts to budget or make financial plans are shrugged off, then this is a sign of a poor money mindset.
Creating time to make financial plans is a healthy financial management habit that is a clear roadmap to future financial stability and freedom.
Financial planning should be prioritised by both partners to ensure accountability.
7. Blaming External Factors for Financial Problems
When it comes to finances , external factors such as income loss and economic struggles will at times be a contributor to financial problems.
However, when every financial struggle is blamed on external factors without any personal accountability taking place, this is a victim mentality.
If your partner is dependent on circumstances and assumes any opportunities within their control when it comes to finances, then they do have a poor money mindset.
8. Seeking Validation Using Money
“My husband is a good man, but we make plans and when the finances come , he’ll call his friends and go on a drinking spree”. Anita a social media user notes about her husband
“When we are around friends, he’s a different man, he wants to act like the “big boy”, he’ll spend big and talk big but truthfully at home we are struggling”
Using money for validation is a sign of deeply rooted emotional or psychological issues that may need professional help.
Nonetheless, it is a poor money mindset and sadly the party involved may be unaware of it and will miss out on making genuine connections,
9. They Feel Trapped in Their Financial Circumstances
Does your partner insinuate a lack of control over their financial standing and stability?
This is a dangerously poor money mindset that can limit their ability to problem solve financial situations and their overall progress towards financial freedom.
This is a pit they will need help with, as it can lead to feeling helpless or depressed. Financial progress requires resilience and a positive mindset.
10. Living Paycheck to Paycheck
I used to live from paycheck to paycheck and it had nothing to do with my income, because even when I got a raise my expenses went up and I was still hungrily waiting for my next paycheck at the end of the month.
This is until I found myself at the right place, when a group of friends were talking about their accounts and financial plans, this 30 min spontaneous conversation changed my life.
Living paycheck to paycheck hints to a poor money mindset brought about by lack of financial planning, limited growth opportunities and not investing in financial cushions.
11. Not Saving
The saving culture is the reason i’ll always recommend the book “The Richest Man in Babylon”, George Calson in indepth talks about the need to pay yourself first.
If your partner has a steady income and no savings then they need saving,
Savings are your first go to cushion when in financial distress.
It is also your saving grace, as they ensure you never miss out on any investment opportunity that may pop up spontaneously.
12. Fear of Investment
“Were it not for my husband I’d be a millionaire,” Lilian comments.”
“My husband refuses any investment plan i bring to him, he refuses to buy land. I told him about my plan to build, he refused citing lack of money and now we live in the house I built, I can no longer include him in any of my financial plans.
He’ll derail me“.
That’s what a partner who fears investments will do they’ll derail your financial growth.
Fear of Investment is a poor money mindset that comes from the fear of loss.
13. Prioritising Immediate Financial Gratification
If your partner is an out-of-hand spender, they are having a bad day ‘let’s shop’, they are in a bad mood ‘let’s shop’, they are happy ‘let’s shop’’.
Then you are in for a down hill financial trend.
A partner who prioritises short term gratification over long term financial plans has a poor money mindset.
Financial management requires intentional and mindful spending with the future in mind.
14. Refusing to Acknowledge Financial Problems
A Person with a poor money mindset is oblivious of their financial situation.
This is someone in debt but still on a spending spree unwilling to come to terms with how bad their situation is.
If this is your partner then there’s a need to seek professional help from a therapist to get to the root of their distorted money language, then a financial advisor to guide them going forward.
15. Belief That They Cannot Achieve Financial Stability
According to Johan Janse Van Rensburg article and study on the psychology of poverty he notes that “the mindset of individuals is more predominant in poverty transition”.
This explains the role of a closed mindset in wealth acquisition.
If you have a partner who believes that it is impossible to be financially free, then thats a poor money mindset.
It will hold them back from taking the necessary financial actions to acquire wealth which in turn will derail your financial goals.
16. Being Defined by Their Financial Status
I once had a friend who came from money and on days he didn’t have any liquid cash he was sceptical on leaving his house, in his words he felt “naked”.
A partner who is defined by their finances is hard to deal with.
On low financial seasons they will be battling with low esteem and on high payouts they’ll be flashy and proud to gain praise and in all seasons they will always be worried about society’s expectations.
17. Feeling Anxious on Making Financial Decisions
Does your partner have a heightened worry surrounding finances,they are worried about making mistakes, of lacking and a fear of the future.
Most times this may stem from past experiences of lack or bad financial decisions
Regardless, general anxiety surrounding finances is still a poor money mindset, where triggers have to be identified and coping mechanisms established.
18. They are a Cheapskate
An extremely frugal person is hard to deal with and this goes beyond budgeting.
This is a person who is obsessed with saving and spending extremely little amounts even when it affects the quality of their lives.
They cannot give and can be very controlling.
A cheapskate is not necessarily a bad person.
Most times they’ve probably lacked in life and are worried of going back to nothing or they are simply accustomed to the scarcity lifestyle and mentality.
19. They are High on Brands
If your partner is the ‘Brands over basics’ kind of person, people who demean small brands and get overly excited about big brands, then yes they have a poor money mindset.
Do not get me wrong, luxury brand items are great ‘occasionally’ but all the time it’s not worth it.
Brands are associated with status and prestige and not necessarily quality. You’ll find small business owners with quality similar products that you don’t have to break bank for.
20. Constant Comparing
Are you tired of hearing statements like “ I want a house like theirs? Their car is better than ours. I wish I had a job like hers.
Hence the common saying “Measuring success by someone else’s ruler.”
Constant comparison stems from lack of contentment and in turn it can lead to impaired financial decisions and misaligned priorities which can affect the relationship.
Final Thoughts
Money answereth all things: Ecclesiastes 10:19.
And “Love may be blind, but the money conversation requires a clear vision” (General Saying)
This explains the importance of money and the money conversation in life and especially in a relationship.
Both partners views on finances can either propel you to financial freedom or derail the financial prosperity which will in turn affect your lifestyle.
If one or both partners are exhibiting signs of a poor money mindset. Here are ways you can help each other to unlearn the poor money habits and create a healthy money mindset.
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Learn to hold honest and open conversations surrounding money. Communicate on debts, habits, correct each other and budget together.
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Identify the signs of a poor money mindset and seek to understand their roots and origins.
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Challenge the negative habits and beliefs and intentionally replace them with positive habits, thoughts and affirmations.
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Educate each other on finances, seek professional guidance.
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Set clear and realistic financial goals and stay true to the plan.
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Surround yourself with positive influences on your financial journey, be it financially disciplined friends or consuming the financial right content.
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Be kind to your partner, growth takes time as long as they are making the effort and taking the initiative walk with them.