Narcissism has become such a prevalent term while explaining relationships gone sore.
We have seen people go into therapy , dealing with the emotional aftermaths of narcissistic abuse. But, do we really understand what it means and can we recognize a narcissistic personality beforehand?
In this post we’ll seek to dig deep into the world of narcissists, to well understand this psychological concept and define key signs that can help recognize if a person is narcissistic and how to relate with them
What is narcissism
Narcissism is defined by a range of behaviors or attitudes of self importance, entitlement and disregard of others and can affect a victim of narcissistic personalities negatively.
This kind of personality is hard to deal with, very manipulative and only wisdom and distance is the way to rid yourself from narcissistic fangs.
Therefore, whether dealing with personal or professional relationships, understanding narcissism is very important. It keeps you forearmed to better recognize a narcissist and be in a position to protect yourself against any form of emotional manipulation.
Here are 8 signs to help recognize a narcissistic personality.
1. Inability to Handle Criticism
It is quite common for everyone to get offended and react when criticized.
However, for narcissists one of their most profound signs when faced with criticism is to get extremely defensive and at times even abusive or physical.
These persons have a perfect image of themselves, and any negative feedback is seen as a personal attack.
This makes it very hard to have honest or even open conversations in fear of confrontation. It is therefore important to learn how to navigate their ego when holding a conversation with a narcissist.
2. Gaslighting
A narcissistic person will distort your reality and truth, they will make you doubt your own feelings and thoughts as a form of emotional manipulation.
This can be done so smoothly where they wrong you but make you feel and acknowledge that it was your fault, such as ”I hit you, because you angered me”.
This leaves the victim in a state of doubt about their own abilities and perceptions which erodes their self esteem making them reliant on their abuser for validation.
3. Exaggerated sense of self-importance and Entitlement
Have you met someone who believed they deserved special; treatment and acknowledgement? This goes beyond self esteem; it somewhat feels like arrogance.
This kind of person is unwilling to take instructions or a no. They believe their word is “the final word”.
In a work setup they tend to override everyone’s opinion including that of their superiors believing they can do better and can be very rude to their juniors .
At home it’s either their way or no way and in maintaining a healthy relationship, it is important to acknowledge the value of humility and other people’s opinions.
4. Lack of Empathy
Narcissists will often struggle to connect with how the people around them feel.
They tend to dismiss the emotions and feelings of others and manipulate situations for their own benefit. This leaves their victims feeling used and unappreciated.
It is vital to notice this trait especially in relationships, as it will make it very hard to create a connection and can leave one partner in a one-sided and unfulfilled relationship.
5. Projection and Lack of Accountability
This is a defensive strategy where a narcissist will blame others for their own negative actions. Imagine dealing with a person who is never wrong enough to apologize.
It stops the narcissist from acknowledging their own faults and can also be a form of manipulation in making their victims feel at fault.
It can be very frustrating to deal with projection as it leaves the victim feeling inadequate and makes it very hard to honestly address situations in a relationship.
6. Isolation and Alienation
So as to have a strong grip on the emotions of their victim, a narcissist will use manipulative tactics to isolate them.
This will include making them doubt the loyalty and good intentions of the people around them.
Hence if friends or family members highlight the unusual situations in their lives, the victims will question them instead of their aggressor.
They can also make them lose their job or any source of income, so that they are fully dependent on the abuser and at their mercy.
7. Triangulation
Narcissists will constantly introduce a third party into the relationship as a way to create competition or insecurity.
Imagine dating someone who constantly compares you to their ex-partner in an effort to make you feel jealous.
They will constantly remind you of their value so that, you hold them at a pedestal giving them power in the relationship.
Triangulation can also be done where, in face of a disagreement the aggressor will rush to a third party, mostly family or friends and paint you as the cause.
They will distort facts to suit their narratives so as to invalidate your opinions and makes you responsible
Understanding triangulation will make you aware of a pending toxic relationship sooner than later.
8. Abuse
A narcissist manipulative play leaves them feeling powerful and in-charge.
This will lead to situations where the victim is demeaned in verbal abuse made to feel inadequate and not good enough to a point of self-doubt.
To a greater extent a narcissist can be physically abusive, they create a leash around them where you’re fully dependent on them and use that to mistreat you, thereby feeding their ego as they feed off your fear and confusion.
Dealing with a Narcissism
Narcissism can be very smooth and calculative, you might not be aware of their manipulation tactics until it is too late.
They have the ability to come into your life and ruin everything good you have going on. They will make you question your achievements, goals and lead you to abandon it all and make them the center of your life.
If a relationship or interaction feels off and any of these signs are available. Be wary, create boundaries, disengage and find healthier relationships for your own well being.
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