You’ve probably ended a relationship and in your head the reason for the breakup had been a red flag from the get go, but for the sake of love, you chose to dismiss lightly.
Finding Love and companionship is a dream for most. The euphoria that comes with the feeling of being wanted can turn the most mundane things mellow.
However, when in a wrong relationship love can destroy and cause profound regrets.
Please note that, expecting perfection from a relationship is an unrealistic expectation.
Nevertheless, In the beginning of a new relationship we tend to put on rose-tinted glasses, choosing to dwell on the budding romance and getting blinded to some obvious warning signs.
In this blog post we seek to highlight 25 universal red flags in a relationship that you should be cautious not to disregard.
Some of them should not necessarily lead to a breakup but should at least be addressed.
Consider this your ultimate guide to a healthy and thriving relationship
1. Lack of communication
Communication is the lifeline of any healthy relationship. It allows couples to create a connection and understand each other’s thoughts and feelings.
If your partner is always acting uninterested when a discussion comes up.
If they seem unwilling to share their thoughts and concerns with you, or information is being withheld.
This is a red flag that may indicate the presence of an emotional rift and could lead to more underlying issues.
Poor communication creates room for misunderstandings and assumptions. This issue should be addressed sooner than later.
2. Stonewalling during disagreements.
Disagreements already have a destabilizing effect on a relationship.
It gets even more frustrating when one partner chooses to walk away or completely shut down during the arguments.
This makes it hard to have an open and honest conversation, leading to a build up of unaddressed issues over time.
Addressing stonewalling is paramount in ensuring that disagreements are approached with empathy and mutual respect rather than detachment and avoidance.
3. Frequent and intense jealousy or possessiveness.
It is quite common to feel a bit insecure in a relationship.
Some other people will like your partner for the same reason you love them. However, the concern is in how you deal with these emotions.
If your partner constantly keeps an eye on your interactions. If they dictate how you dress and move to avoid other people finding you attractive.
Their reaction to a simple exchange of pleasantries with a friend is harsh words and an overbearing attitude. It is time to acknowledge the red flag, as it is no longer cute.
A healthy relationship is based on trust, and complements to your partner are compliments to you so enjoy them as much.
4. Isolation from friends and family.
If your partner constantly discredits your family and friends, creates restrictions against visiting other people or has created bad blood with your social circle through their actions and words.
Then it’s time to get concerned.
Isolation, through emotional manipulation or even physical restrictions, takes away the valuable insights of people who genuinely know and care for you.
A healthy relationship should foster independence and encourage the emotional support and connections that come from family and friends as they are a safety net during troubled times.
5.Constant criticism or belittling.
“He did not mean it” is your blinded reaction to verbal abuse. A partner that makes you feel unappreciated and not good enough is your ticket to self loathe.
Too much of their words will lead to self-doubt and esteem issues.
And, as much as it is encouraged to work and address relationship issues, sometimes leaving is a form of self preservation.
You should be able to understand that in a healthy relationship there is respect, appreciation and you should feel like the best version of yourself.
This post by Michigan University gives a clear definition on types of verbal abuse that should be red flags https://rb.gy/emmdd.
6. Manipulative behavior
“ You’re over thinking” “It was your fault”, silent treatment, financial control, constant threats etc.
If these examples define your relationship, then you are walking in a manipulative mine of power play and you, my friend, are losing…
A relationship that makes you constantly question yourself and overly depend on your partner is unhealthy.
Relationships should be a source of joy, peace and mutual benefit not constant pain and walking on eggshells.
7. physical abuse.
A warning today, a slap tomorrow and a few days later you are lying on a hospital bed.
Physical abuse should be a non-negotiable deal breaking red flag.
No love bliss will ever come from a partner who has no value for you.
If your partner can not control their anger and their reaction to a disagreement is to offer some form of punishment.
You may be entangled in a web of life or death and the only way out is to flee.
8. Dishonesty
Lack of transparency and trust is a major red flag.
For example: if you catch your partner lying over small issues, choosing not to disclose certain information and even infidelity. You may be in for a long journey of pain.
Dishonesty will erode trust and when it gets to appoint you can’t rely on them, building that relationship could be futile.
9. Lack of compromise
It is their way or no way. What meal to have, where to live, how to spend money etc.
When one partner can never lose, then there will be a power imbalance. The other partner will feel unheard and the relationship will strain.
This is a red flag worth talking over. Because at some point you will no longer find the need to share or bring up discussions and when you eventually feel unneeded you’ll have no reason to want to stay.
10. They avoid discussing the future together.
If you bring up a topic on future plans and your partner shrugs it off or changes the topic, then maybe they are not dating you for the long howl.
When love is present and the intentions pure , your life will revolve around your partner.
You’ll want to travel with them, you can see how your whole life will unravel with them in mind. If that is not reciprocated, then there’s need to be concerned.
11. Secretive behavior and unwillingness to share personal information.
You are dating someone amazing but you do not know where they live. You are yet to meet any of their friends and relatives.
You probably do not even know where they work. Please acknowledge the red flag and consider yourself single. When you are part of a relationship you have every right to this information.
Bring up the concern and if no fruitful explanation is forthcoming, you should be alarmed.
12. They are constantly blame-shifting
You’ll want to be with someone that can acknowledge when they are wrong and not be too proud to apologize. It will make it easier to hold honest conversation and have a fulfilling relationship.
When your partner constantly blames you for every problem that’s a clear red flag.
Eventually you will be too emotionally drained and resentful to want to be with them.
13.Lack of respect
Respect is when no matter the situation you can not be verbally abusive, or physical with your partner.
Be with a genuinely good person.
On days when they get on your nerves and you do not feel like you like them very much, respect will keep each of you grounded. Give them space when it’s needed
14. Inconsistent or unreliable behavior.
If your partner is never available when you need them, you make plans and they stand you up.
Their commitment is constantly fluctuating, they make little or no effort towards the relationship and even assume your texts and calls. Then you are in for an emotional rollercoaster.
This relationship will have you in constant doubt and unsecure. Seek to address the issue as a couple and if possible go for therapy.
15. Substance abuse issues.
Substance abuse is a major red flag that can negatively impact your life.
An addiction will cause a strain on trust, communication and finances. An addict can not fully account for your safety and well being. To some point they really have no control and though they may desire to be responsible it may be beyond them.
If your partner has a substance related issue help them seek help, they cannot be good for you when they are not good to themselves
16. Financial secrecy or irresponsibility.
It is particularly hard for a spender to deal with a holder, a thrifty person to deal with one who buys brands. Money is always of major concern in relationships.
Financial conversations are very important to hold and address the differences in spending habits and money language.
But if your partner is unwilling to make changes per your financial agreement, maybe they spend more than what is available.
They have withheld information like major debts or are unreliable with fulfilling their financial responsibilities.
Then there’s a red flag worth noting. You can seek help from a relationship finance coach.
17. Indifference towards your feelings and concerns.
When one partner is indifferent then the relationship is mostly one-sided,
I’ll go ahead and burst your bubble because they’re most probably unable to show care as they sincerely do not care.
This red flag will make you bitter and in doubt. Hold a conversation and ask for their sincere honesty to avoid future unwarranted troubles
18.Cheating or infidelity.
Cheating should be another deal breaker.
If your partner is constantly having affairs then you should be thrown off by the clear show of disrespect and lack of concern for your feelings.
If your partner cheats its a them issue and you shouldn’t blame yourself.
Nonetheless, you should allow them to deal with the consequences of their actions.
Infidelity makes it hard to rebuild trust, as they are also putting your health in danger of sexually transmitted diseases. At this point you are required to self preserve.
19. A lack of support for your personal goals and ambitions.
When a partner dismisses your goals and accomplishments while expecting you to fully support them. This is a clear show of power play.
They are having a desire to have you make them feel important at the expense of your ambitions.
By giving up your goals, you trade your power.
Address this issue and make it clear that as much as you are willing to support their dreams you expect the same as it’s important for you to grow as a unit.
20. Excessive neediness or codependent behavior.
Everyone wants to feel needed in a relationship but when the dependency becomes too much it can feel annoying.
A healthy relationship requires everyone to carry their weight, you’ll need to feel that you can hold on to your partner when you need it.
However, when it feels like you need to always be in charge it can be tiring and yield tension and resentment.
21. Dismissive or disrespectful behavior toward your friends or family.
It can be normal for your partner not to get along with one or two people from your social circle. But, when they evidently dismiss your friends and family.
It should be a great red flag, because in the long run there will be a strain in relationships with the people around you.
Address the issue as a conversation with them and if they are unwilling to make changes maybe it’s time for you to choose sides.
22. Repeated broken promises or commitments.
How many times should be too much?
By letting constant broken promises slide unaddressed, you create room for your partner to have no consideration for you and your needs.
Unless you are willing to live with a habit for life then address it the first time it happens.
23. Feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells
If you are worried that anything you say or do could potentially offend them. Then your feelings are probably highlighting a red flag, for how long will you wait until it is clear.
It is knowing whatever you say or do will not be used against you and your best interests are their priority.
In conclusion, relationships require love and a lot more, it is a daily choice of commitment and effort.
Your partner cannot read your mind, so when you notice a situation that may translate to a red flag address it.
Be willing to compromise for them as well when they highlight their concerns.
Nonetheless, listen to your instincts, if it feels wrong it’s probably wrong.
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What might you recommend about your publish that you made some days ago?
Any certain?
Welcome to the circle, more publications to come
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